


The Worst Day Ever

by Jlovespizza, The_Everlark_Life



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Bakery, Breaking out of jail, F/M, Funny, Hayffie, Humor, Hunger Games, Johanna - Freeform, Murder, Oneshot, Peeta - Freeform, Sorry if I offend anyone, Wrote this in the middle of the night, absolute nonsense, effie - Freeform, everlark, funny murder, ghost prim, haymitch - Freeform, katniss - Freeform, kinda parody, mrs Everdeen - Freeform, post Mockingjay au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 08:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4660275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jlovespizza/pseuds/Jlovespizza, https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Everlark_Life/pseuds/The_Everlark_Life
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Burning bakery's, Dead Cats, Broken legs, Stupid Gale, Jail, and Hayffie.......... This is the worst day ever   (humor/Parody) (Post Mockingjay Au)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> So ... You are about to read my craziest story EVER. So I'd like to apologize in advance for anyone who gets offended by this. My friend And I were staying up all night waiting for the trailer and came up with this nonsense. I wrote it out and sent it to her and she found it hilarious and Amazing. I also sent it to my other friend amd she was confused. This story is crazy and if you don't get it than that is perfectly fine . If you do get it THANK YOU. Okay well now that my long boring speech is over please read and don't forget to review!!!!

The worst day ever. 

 

I wake to The sound of birds tweeting. Today is going to be a beautiful day. 

It's been 2 years since the end of the war and for once in my life the odds are finally in my favor. I change out of My pajamas and Put on a bright yellow sundress then I pick some dandelions out of the garden and braid them into my hair.   
After eating some toast I skip over to haymitch's house.   
"Hello haymitch how is your day going ?"   
"What's wrong with you ?" He asks   
"Nothing is wrong why do you ask"   
"Your acting weird"   
"Oh silly haymitch I'm taking a trip to the bakery to visit my true love Peeta. I also need to pick up my dead sisters' cat"   
"That's awesome sweetheart" he replies sarcastically.  
Then the Phone rings.   
Haymitch picks it up.   
"Hello" he says.   
"We'll be right there hold on !!!"   
"Haymitch what's happening ?!?" I scream.   
"Peeta's bakery is burning down !"   
Before he finish's the sentence we're running out the door.   
Once we arrive the bakery is up in flames.   
"Where is Peeta !!!" I scream.   
Some random dude trying to put the fire out says "who knows probably inside" 

Me and haymitch run towards the building to save him.   
When we get inside flames cover the whole place. Peeta is towards the back obviously having a episode. He grabs buttercup off the floor and starts beating him with a frying pan.   
"Peeta !!!" I scream trying to get to him. Then I fall over a chair and hit the ground.   
A wave of pain hits my leg "ahhh" I scream in pain "I think I broke my leg"   
"Mutt there you are !!!" Peeta screams he stops hitting buttercup with a frying pan and comes running at me frying pan still in his hands. 

"What's going on here ?!?!" Greasy sae exclaims as she walks in the building Peeta pushes haymitch down and hits her with the frying pan till she is obviously dead.   
Then his episode ends.   
He looks at me on the floor with my leg twisted in a awkward angle and haymitch who's standing there like a ghost and buttercup who's on a table dead And sae who's on the floor dead. 

"Guys what's happening ?" He asks.   
\-------------------------------------------

4 hours later... 

Peeta's trial is about to start he's being accused of murder. I don't think it's his fault that he killed sae it's that old lady's fault that she got in the way of the frying pan. I limp into the court room and sit next to haymitch. After A five minute wait the judge walks in.   
It's Gale Hawthorne.   
He starts talking "lady's and gentlemen I'm Gale Hawthorne today we are here for the trial of the vicious and evil Peeta Mellark !!! Peeta Mellark has been described by many as violent crazy and a GIRLFRIEND STEALER !!!!!"   
Haymitch whispers to me "this kid has issues"   
"True dat" I reply.   
Gale finally settles down   
"Okay so today Peeta Mellark is being accused of murder and I think he's guilty I vote death sentence" then Gale turns his head and looks at me   
"Unless Katniss kisses me"   
I'm absolutely disgusted   
"Is there no other option ?" I ask   
"No" he says   
"Please"   
"Nope catnip you must kiss me if you want loverboy to live"   
"So there's no other option ?"   
"Yeah there is. I can kill loverboy"   
"No thanks"   
"So you'll kiss me"   
"Ugh fine"   
He then jumps off the podium and throws off his shirt the lights dim and cheesy romantic music starts playing "come here my sweet catnip"   
I think I'm gonna throw up.   
I limp over to him and give him a kiss so fast I can barely feel it.   
Then i run over to the nearest trash can trying to overcome the pain of my broken leg and throw up.   
Gale looks as if he's gonna cry.   
"Oh sweet catnip all I wanted was you to love me now I must send loverboy to his death"   
"You liar!!!" I scream I then pick up some chicks purse and throw it at him.   
A police man comes up to me   
"Miss your arrested for assault"   
Then I see another grab Peeta.   
We're both brought out and put in a car haymitch runs out of the building   
"I'll solve this you guys"


	2. Part 2

The Worst day ever part 2   
1 hour later ...  
Me and Peeta are stuck in jail.   
"So Katniss this day isn't the best is it ?"   
"Nope" i reply shortly.   
"Guys hurry up we're breaking you out !!!" It's haymitch and Effie dressed as guards. 

We take a run for it after we exit the building we head towards the woods surrounding the prison. Peeta has to carry me bridal style because of my broken leg.   
Then Effie's shoe breaks. 

"Wtf Effie why'd you wear heels to escape a prison ?!??" Peeta screams. 

"They matched my outfit" she replies calmly as if it explains everything. The guards are catching up with us. 

Haymitch then picks her up   
"I'll save you princess"   
"Oh how sweet of you my prince" she replies. 

"Ugh I'm gonna throw up again let's go" I shout. 

We run till we reach a small cave.   
"So we are in district 7 right now" haymitch states. 

"What is the next step ?" I ask   
"We should stay here till it's safe to go out and get food. We need to eat dinner with what we have here" Says Peeta. 

"I have a pack of bubble gum !" Effie adds. 

\------------------------------------------

Peeta and haymitch are looking for food and I'm sitting in a tree since I can't walk. Effie is decorating the cave with wildflowers. 

I start to feel peaceful till a axe comes swirling towards me. It lands in my left foot "ahhhhh" 

"Omg who'd I kill this time" says a female voice towards the direction of where the axe came from.   
A woman steps out from behind a tree and I quickly recognize her as Johanna Mason. 

"Johanna you threw a axe at my foot !!!!" I scream.   
Peeta and Haymitch come running over. 

"Hey guys what are you doing here" Johanna asks. 

"There is a axe in my foot !" I scream trying to get there attention. 

"It's kinda a long story" says Haymitch. 

"Guys there is a axe in my foot !" I scream again. 

Peeta looks over at me "Oh Katniss let's look at it .... Um that's not good we should probably go to a hospital"   
He turns to Johanna "where is a hospital ?" 

"Back in 7 there's one by the train station" she replies.   
\------------------------------------------

When we get to the district 7 hospital it is busy so we are forced to sit outside. 

"Katniss?" Says a voice. I look over and see my mom with a shocked expression on her face.   
"Oh hi mom how are you doing ?" I ask. 

"Good darling what are you doing here ?"   
The group is silent till I respond. 

"I have a axe in my foot" 

"Oh" 

"Yeah it's really painful" 

"How about we go back to my house so you can avoid the hospital wait" she suggests. 

"Sure"   
\----------------------------------------------

My moms house is kinda strange. The walls are painted sunset orange and there are pictures of Peeta with hearts drawn around his head. 

"I like the decorations" haymitch comments sarcastically. 

I look over to Peeta who looks kinda freaked out. 

After my mom puts stitches in my foot and puts a cast on The broken one she offers us dinner. We accept because we are hungry. 

We are all dining on hamburgers except for mom who's drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. She gets really drunk. We are all kinda freaked out then she stands up on the table and starts yelling. 

"My husband is dead ! I can love whoever I want ! I love Peeta Mellark!!!!!!" She screams. 

I grab her and pull her off the table and onto the floor I have to fall out my chair because I can't walk then we start wrestling on the floor. 

"He's mine bitch !!!" I scream at her then I start pulling her braid. 

"Your the bitch Katniss your trying to destroy my love life my husband blew up in a coal mine and now you won't let me have a chance with that hottie named Peeta" she screams back and punches my face. 

Then the door bursts open and prim walks in. 

We are all shocked and stop what we are doing. 

Johanna is the first to speak "chick I thought Gale blew you up" 

Then haymitch "yeah I guess we got a ghost following us now" 

"I'm not a ghost it's me prim I'm back I've come home" she speaks. 

Haymitch laughs "I'll prove your a ghost then" then he pick up a fork and throws it at her it stabs her in the heart then she starts bleeding and falls on the ground dead. 

"Oops" says haymitch. 

"HAYMITCH!!!!!" I scream 

I try to attack him but I'm on the floor and I can't walk. 

"Peeta help me up !!!" I scream

"Katniss I don't think violence is the solution haven't enough people died today" he responds 

Then prim walks through the living room wall.

"What the mahogany is happening" says Effie. 

"It's me prim i wanted to thank you guys for taking care of this girl who has been running around pretending to be me" ghost prim says. 

This day is getting really strange. 

"Your welcome" haymitch says . 

Then the ghost buttercup she's holding in her hands starts talking.   
"Yo Peeta yo killed me with a frying pan dat wasn't cool man" 

"OMG dead cats talk !!!" Screams Johanna. 

Then a giant asteroid comes tumbling towards earth and we all die. 

The end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading !!!!! I loved writing this story so I hope you guys enjoyed reading it !!!! I wanted to know if there was any kind of fic you wanted to read that hadn't been written cause I'm open to suggestions!!!!! Love you guys and remember to please review!!!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> ( Comment Below for Any suggestions for my next story)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so did you like it ???? Did you hate it ???? Are you confused????? Do you think I belong in a insane asylum ????? PLEASE REVIEW!!!!


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